Pennies from Heaven...or the 2nd Row!

The Penny Blog's not just for me & my friends (who support me so I don't come across as a TOTALLY crazy person) anymore...we went public at a comedy show a few weeks ago!

Yes, it's true. We became an integral part of the Upright Citizens Brigade show at the Arlington Draft House on November 9th. I shamelessly jumped around like a complete idiot (in my pink striped rain boots, no less) to ensure I made it on stage so the 2nd half of the show would be based on whatever foolishness I could think to tell these people about myself during the on stage interview.

I didn't start off with the penny story right away. That might have made me look a little nuts. Instead I led with, "My dad invented pizza rolls."

Uh, what? These people didn't quite know where I was coming from with this. Had they just invited Ms. Totino on the stage? Could my dad possibly be the true inventor of pizza rolls? I had to explain!

It turns out that one of my dates from match.com actually came up with the theory that we should change my dad's official title from "Tim the Penny Collector" to "Tim--Inventor of Pizza Rolls." It all started when I told him that in the 70's my dad had entered the Pillsbury bake off by mistake. Actually, it wasn't so much by mistake as it was on a fluke. With a recipe he'd never actually made.

"Tim" was at my grandma's house, who was getting ready to enter one of her own recipes into the bake off. She asked if he'd like her to send in one on his behalf. Without giving it much thought he said, "Yeah. What if you put some marinara sauce, cheese & pepperoni on one of those crescent rolls, wrapped it up and baked it?" So she jotted down the spontaneous concoction and off it went in the mail.

Well...sure enough the folks at Pillsbury saw the genius in it all and picked his recipe as one of the 100 to be made at the official bake-off. My mother was slightly less thrilled than he was because she had to be his guinea pig as he perfected his yet-to-actually-be-baked crescent pizzas. Morning, noon, and night she was eating variations of his new concoction until she felt she might actually bleed marinara sauce if someone sliced into her.

So, a few weeks later my dad and 99 women prepared to "start their ovens" and make their recipes for the bake-off. While my dad was not the overall winner, he did bring home a sweet 1970s microwave (I'm pretty sure we had that sucker well into the 90's) and the memories of the rally cry, "Ladies...and "Tim"...start your ovens!"

Alright...that brings me back to my date. After he heard that story he just looked at me and said, "Oh my God...your dad invented pizza rolls!" And what could I do but agree?!

Ok, so after I wowed the improv comics with my dad's pizza roll adventures (and they asked me to thank him for satisfying years of munchies), I moved on to the penny story. Of course, I don't need to restate that story here because if you're reading this...chances are you've heard it more times than you care to count! But I will add that I must've entertained & amused the audience with the penny tale (or at least inspired them to give a small amount to charity) since at one point it rained pennies from somewhere in the 2nd row! Sure...it was only 3 cents...but it's going on the spreadsheet!

Go Play in Traffic...You might find pennies!

It was not just a good penny day...but a ridiculously good penny day today. I found 15 pennies and...A QUARTER on my way to & from work.

It was exciting to have that many individual sightings. But for a moment, I thought perhaps someone was playing a joke on me. My friends have been known to throw pennies on the trail while we are hiking to test my penny prowess (I failed miserably...but who is on the lookout for change while rock scrambling on the Billy Goat Trail?! I'm good, but even pros need a day off now & then!). And all of these pennies, or at least a good portion of them (and the quarter too) were in the middle of the street! And I'm not talking about a crosswalk here...I mean smack dab in the center of traffic!

The first one wasn't too far from the curb. I thought conceivably a guy had dropped some change while shuffling in his pockets to get quarters for the meter. But the next one, a few blocks later, was considerably further from the curb...out beyond the driver's side door. What happened there. Perhaps a lover's quarrel that led to pennies being tossed in anger, "You cheat...I never want to see you again. Take that! (Insert a meanly tossed penny here)."

The best part was that I'd seen the second penny and was about to step in the street to pick it up when I realized a guy was trying to park his car in that space. So did I abandon the penny and move on like a normal person? I'm writing a blog about pennies...what do you think?! Of course not! I went around the front of the car as the driver got the vehicle settled in its cozy new spot and bent over to pick up the coin. I was right where the guy would have to open his door to get out and it occurred to me...this might look a little odd. So what do I do? I grab the penny and then show it to the driver as if to say, "I'm not trying to carjack you...I just wanted this penny." The look on his face said he would have thought I was more sane if I was indeed carjacking him. A little embarrassing? Yes. Would I do it again? Absolutely. I love my pennies!

Finally, as I continued down 17th Street, still amazed by the brick gutters I'd discovered a few days earlier (why so fancy...they're gutters?!) I saw the quarter in the middle of the road! Has jaywalking gotten that bad? People can't be bothered to go one measly block to cross legally? Although I suppose I'm no better...darting into traffic for a quarter.

So, my day concluded with a total of 40 cents, most of which was found as I risked life and limb in the pursuit of stray coins. But hey...40 cents is a damn good showing for a single day! And although my mother did teach me not to play in traffic, I somehow think she would have approved of my forays into the street today (especially since she's got 43 cents of her own on the spreadsheet!).

Get your own!

There I was, strolling down the street after an average Tuesday on my way to visit my friend Eric where he tends bar. As always...I was on the lookout for pennies en route to my final destination. Now that we're out of daylight savings time and it starts getting dark at 2:30 in the afternoon, I was strolling down the sidewalk in the pitch black. Much tougher to see pennies under these conditions...but then a glint caught my eye. Actually...two glints.

There they were in the gutter...two shiny pennies (and at this moment I suddenly realized our gutters are made of brick here in DC. Who knew!?). So of course, I jumped into the gutter immediately to pick them up. And once in the gutter (which was actually more enjoyable once I realized they were brick...so fancy!), I realized there were two more pennies! And then...I saw two more...and two more...until I found a total of NINE pennies. Fantastic! I was in heaven.

But then, as I climbed out of the gutter (looking quite impressive, I'm sure with my knit gloves covered in dried leaves and trash), a funny thing happened. The bum on the corner, who I see on that corner at least three days a week, asked me if I had any spare change.

WHAT?!

I had an entire monologue in my head that went a little something like this, "You lazy...are you kidding me?! You probably stood on this corner staring right at those pennies for the last two hours and just waited for someone to walk by and pick them up so you could ask if they had any spare change. Seriously!"

But I decided going off on a poor beggar wouldn't be right. And since Christmas is just around the corner, I do want to stay on Santa's 'Nice' list. So, with a pleasant smile, I looked the man directly in the eye and said, "Nope" as I strolled off into the darkness. Afterall...like my sister always says, "it's for the kids!"